


Early Morning (I Love You By The Way)

by yellowlampshade



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Kissing, M/M, Making Out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-07
Updated: 2016-02-07
Packaged: 2018-05-18 21:49:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5944285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yellowlampshade/pseuds/yellowlampshade
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan has been avoiding Phil since the Incident. The Incident that ended with them making out on Phil's bed. Convinced he's ruined their friendship, Phil confronts Dan to apologize, but maybe things aren't quite as bad as they seem.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Early Morning (I Love You By The Way)

It was early in the morning, although Dan wasn’t sure exactly how early. He let out a tired sigh and snuggled closer to the sleeping figure beside him.  
  
Wait, what?  
  
His eyes opened a crack and crap, his bedsheets weren’t usually blue and green, and he didn’t usually wake up to the feeling of his best friend’s arms wrapped around him.  
  
Crap.  
  
How could he have possibly, possibly, gotten into Phil’s bed last night? They had been out late at a YouTube event, they had both been drinking, but he wasn’t feeling drunk in the slightest right now. It was hard to feel anything past the paranoia that was slowly seeping into his still sleep clouded mind. They would have to find a way to awkwardly laugh about it, and Dan would have to pretend he didn’t have that feeling in his chest, the feeling he still got whenever he was around Phil.  
  
He was debating whether or not he could just get out of the bed without Phil noticing when he felt the arm that was hanging loosely around his waist tighten and pull him closer.

*********************************

 _Dan was laying in his arms, his soft lips moving with Phil's, his fingers twisting into Phil's hair. The younger boy pulled away just enough to whisper “God, Phil, you’re so perfect, love you so much, I’m yours, all yours”. Phil wrapped his arms tighter around Dan’s waist, pulling him closer until his elbow suddenly connected with something -_  
  
Phil’s eyes fluttered open to see Dan lying next to him in his bed, but this wasn’t Dream Dan, this was Real Dan, his best friend.  
  
Crap.  
  
He stilled, and realized that Dan probably didn’t even know that he was awake. He should probably just get up, wake Dan up if he was somehow still asleep, and they could uncomfortably leave and try to forget about it.  
  
He also in the same moment became aware of just how close his mouth was to Dan’s neck.  
  
It was just so early, and he wasn’t capable of rational thought after the idea of closing that distance between him and Dan, that distance that had always been there, came through his mind. He was trying to worry about this, about crossing this line that the two of them had so painstakingly maintained for years now, but all his bleary mind could focus on was what would possible be allowed, what could be explained away by the circumstance if Dan pulled away. His brain was trying to start up, trying to focus on anything other than the smell that was so unmistakably Dan, the places where their bodies touched… Phil wasn’t thinking about anything else when he leaned forward just enough for his lips to ghost against the back of Dan’s neck.

********************************

Phil’s lips were all Dan could feel, and they felt so, so unbelievably _good_. He knew he should stop this, stop things before his roommate woke up and inevitably sent Dan away, but he couldn’t think straight, couldn’t even entertain the idea of pulling away when this was what he had been dreaming of for years, ever since he met Phil.  
  
Then Phil's lips started moving, kissing his neck, and he couldn’t stop the gasp that escaped him. He tilted his head up, exposing his neck further. God, he didn’t know if Phil had figured out how sensitive his neck is, or had just gotten lucky, but it felt so good, and then Phil's mouth moved and sucked at a spot that made him go boneless, and he had no control over the sounds that were tumbling from his lips. Phil didn’t stop, kept kissing along his neck, and his hand that had been lying limp around his abdomen was now slipping underneath his shirt and his thumb was drawing circles on his back, his other hand sprawling across his chest and his skin was on fire, on fire everywhere Phil touched him. This couldn’t possibly be wrong if every fiber of his being was aching for more of Phil. He rolled over so he was facing the other man who began to lay kisses along his jaw and Dan was so overwhelmed by everything. He acted on pure instinct and moved his own hands up tentatively to tangle in Phil's hair and move his lips to connect with his own.  
  
Then Phil's mouth was moving with his own, and oh, in all the years he had imagined this he never thought it could be this good, never thought anything could ever be this good. Phil sucked his bottom lip and he let out a groan. He felt Phil’s tongue on his lip and he opened his mouth, and the older boy’s tongue slipped inside and it should have been weird if it didn’t feel so intimate, so _hot_. Phil’s hands were still moving along his chest, one resting on his hip. Everything felt so good, so perfect, better than anything he’d ever dreamed of, and then it hit him like a freight train that Phil didn’t dream about this, Phil didn’t want him, didn’t love him, couldn’t love him, and he was suddenly suffocating in the need to escape, the need to stop before he had ruined the friendship that he had worked so hard on. He froze against Phil, who stopped moving his lips to open his eyes and whisper, “Dan?”  
  
Dan moved quickly, pulling away and jumping out of the bed, shaking his head and saying “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” as he rushed out of the room, refusing to make eye contact with his now possibly former best friend.

********************************

Phil didn’t know what to do besides stumble out of his bedroom after what he deemed to be an appropriate amount of time. He couldn’t stay in there forever, and he wasn’t quite prepared to climb out of the window. Dan was bustling around their kitchen, presumably looking for something.  
  
“Oh, uh, I just made a pot of coffee if you want some. I’ve got so much to do today, I have to film a video and edit, and I really need to call Caspar back about the collab he wants to do -”  
  
“Dan,”  
  
“And I just realized that we’re out of cereal, so I’m going to pop out to get some if I can just find my - oh, right here.” Dan picked his Oyster Card up off the counter and walked past Phil without looking at him to grab his coat. Phil stood in silence as he heard their front door open and close.  
  
How could he have possibly messed things up this much? He hadn’t been thinking, he had just acted, and he’d ruined everything. He had been able to convince himself that Dan wanted him too, and now Dan was probably going to ask him to move out.  
  
Everything had just been too much - the little gasps escaping Dan’s mouth, the hands in his hair pulling him closer, Dan kissing him back… he had been unable to use his brain, to realize that Dan didn’t want this, and now he was going to pay for it.

*************************************

Dan didn’t come back to the flat for hours, and, true to his word, shut himself in his room to work. He did the same the next day. And the next. They had barely spoken in three days, and Phil wasn’t sure how long he could live like this; living in such close proximity but not talking or even looking at each other. This was probably the longest they had ever gone without interacting and he already felt like a part of him was missing. Phil wondered how long this could go on, and at what point it would become worse than the alternative - either him or Dan moving out. This was something he rarely thought of, since so much of his life revolved around Dan, it was difficult to even imagine living alone.  
  
It had been four days now since the incident, and Dan was out again. By now, Phil knew for sure he couldn’t let things go on like this. They had to talk, apologize, or something, anything. He wasn’t sure how to apologize for being in love with his flatmate, but he couldn’t handle pretending that they hadn’t made out on his bed. And in order for talking to happen, Dan had to actually interact with him.

***************************************

 _We need to talk._  
  
Dan stared at his phone screen, willing himself to find any more meaning out of Phil’s text. Riding the tube home felt more like walking to his execution. Phil probably didn’t feel comfortable living with him anymore, was going to ask him to move out, and then what? He wasn’t sure he knew how to live without Phil. It had been years since he last had to do that. And, Christ, what on Earth would he tell his subscribers? His branding had never really been just danisnotonfire, it had always just been Dan and Phil, and without Phil, what would even happen?  
  
He hadn’t spoken to Phil because he knew he wouldn’t be able to hide things from him anymore. Wouldn’t be able to hide how much he had enjoyed it, how he dreamed of what would have happened if he hadn’t left, if Phil would have kept going. Kept touching him with those hands that had been so certain, yet gentle. God, if his friend had known what he had been dreaming about for years he surely would have already sent Dan away.  
  
He was walking up to their flat now and God, he was going to make everything even worse, wasn’t he, he wouldn’t be able to control his emotions. It occurred to him that getting the one thing he had always wanted was now going to be the thing that made him lose the one thing he had always needed. 

*****************************************

“Hey.” Phil was sitting in the lounge when Dan arrived. He stood.  
  
“Hi.” Dan didn’t know what else to reply.  
  
“So, uh. I’m really sorry if I pressured you into doing anything you didn’t want. It was wrong and I’m sorry.”  
  
Not exactly what Dan had expected. “No, um, you didn’t,” Dan shook his head. “I mean, you didn’t do anything wrong. I mean, it wasn’t your fault.” Shit, he was so terrible at talking.  
  
“It kind of was my fault, though. I should’ve known that, you, you know. Didn’t want that.”  
  
What?  
  
“Pardon?”  
  
“Well, I just wasn’t thinking, and I didn’t realize that you wanted me to stop.”  
  
Dan stared at him, not able to process.  
  
“You left, yeah?” Phil elaborated and ohmygod he must be misinterpreting the conversation because Phil must have been just tired and hungover, it couldn’t have been anything else, Phil couldn’t have wanted it.  
  
“Oh. I did.”  
  
“I know you probably are just trying to forget about it, but we can’t just go on ignoring it,” and no, he’s right, they can’t ignore it, not when they’ve gotten this far.  
  
“It’s possible there may have been a slight misunderstanding.”  
  
“And what would that be?”  
  
Dan couldn’t stop now, he was already in far too deep. “Why did you kiss me?”  
  
Phil was looking everywhere but Dan as he spoke. “I kissed you because you were so close and you looked so hot, and I let my inhibitions drop too low, and now you won’t even talk to me, so yeah, it’s my fault.”  
  
“Oh.” Dan repeated.  
  
“Your turn. Why did you leave?”  
  
“Because I thought I wouldn’t be able to live with it if you rejected me after going any further.”  
  
The poker face Phil had been wearing dropped to take on one of shock. “Oh.”  
  
“I’m an idiot, aren’t I?”  
  
“Probably.” Then Phil moved forward, so he was right in front of Dan. His hand moved up slowly to rest on the other boy’s face.  
  
“Is this okay?” Their foreheads were almost touching, and yes, this was the very definition of okay. Dan leaned forward and then he was falling all over again, because this was real, this was Phil, Phil was kissing him, Phil wanted him. Phil’s mouth was moving with his own, his hands that Dan had been thinking so much about were behind his head, holding him close. They were moving, but Dan didn’t notice until his back was against the wall and they weren’t bothering to go slowly because they had both wanted this far to long for that. Then Phil’s lips were on his neck and Dan wasn’t bothering to be quiet this time, and oh -  
  
“Christ, Phil, you have no idea how good that feels - ah, _ohmygod, Phil,_ ” Dan felt the mouth on his neck turn up into a smirk as he repeated the action.  
  
“Mmm, Dan, you’re so gorgeous, wanted this for so long,” Phil’s now had his hand at the hem of Dan’s shirt in a wordless question and hell yes, Phil, this was what he wanted, and he moved his arms so Phil could take it off.  
  
Phil’s mouth was laying kisses along his collarbone, and Dan’s head was thrown back on the wall. It felt like he was drowning in sensation, but drowning was supposed to be unpleasant and this was so far from that, this was so ridiculously perfect.  
  
“D-d’you want to -”  
  
“Probably,” Dan mimicked Phil from earlier. Phil chuckled lightly.  
  
“We don’t have to do anything more right now,” Phil said, shifting his attention back to Dan’s lips.  
  
“What if I want to?” Dan said between kisses. Phil groaned softly at the feeling.  
  
“Mmm. Bedroom?”  
  
“Please.”

************************************

It was early morning when Phil woke up. His mind panicked for a split second at the feeling of someone beside him, before he remembered. Dan looked so cute like this, with his hobbit hair and significantly less layers between them, and he was actually allowed to think that now. Waking up to him curled up next to him was already a vast improvement to any other morning he had had in this bed.  
  
Dan rolled over to face him and blinked his eyes open. “Hi,” he said, groggily. Phil laughed.  
  
“Hey.”  
  
“I love you, by the way.”  
  
“I love you too.”  
  
Yeah, this was definitely a vast improvement.

**Author's Note:**

> So this was my first ever fic? Yeah.


End file.
